Dear Canada,

In 1992, you took “our” baseball championship. (Hush, don’t tell anyone I celebrated because my team won.)

In 1993, we, uh, you won it again. (That strike in 1994? It was planned so that the Expos wouldn’t make it three straight championships for Canada.)

In 2010, you won “our” gold medal in hockey. Sidney Crosby, what were you thinking?

In 2019, you took “our” NBA championship.

Then last night, you Schitt all over us by winning seven of “our” Emmy Awards.

The time has come for us to consider your take over of rather important items.

So, here we go…

  1. Our health care system
  2. The White House (I don’t care what you think of your prime minister, he’s a remarkable step up from the occupant of the White House)
  3. PBS; our public broadcaster is quite good, but the CBC is better
  4. Border crossings; your folks typically are most hospitable than ours
  5. The Major League Baseball commissioner’s office
  6. The CFL shuts down the NFL

You in?